Ravioli Pope

Ravioli Pope

I am the Pope of these particular ravioli right here. I do not claim to be the Pope of All the Ravioli, but these particular ravioli right here, I made them and I also happen to be their Pope. I make many ravioli each week. I am not the Pope of all the ravioli that I make. Many of the ravioli I make are apostate. One might refer to their condition as apastasy were one inclined to indulge in insupportable wordplay. These particular ravioli right here are not apostate, though. I am their Pope, undoubted and absolute. I do not make these statements to boast. I do not make these statements to complain. I make these statements merely to share this one simple thing I have come to understand.

Gnocchi are universally Lutheran. I do not know why.

Published in: on September 28, 2013 at 2:13 pm  Leave a Comment  
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BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT

If you’re behind on Breaking Bad, but still plan on watching it, don’t read this post. I don’t think I’ll give anything away, but you’d better play it safe. As a matter of fact, you might want to unsubscribe from my feed and avoid this blog until you’re caught up on the show. Come to think of it, you should probably stay off the internet altogether. Maybe don’t watch any TV at all either. Except Breaking Bad, of course. Then again, there seems to be quite a bit of foreshadowing in some of those earlier episodes, so while you’re catching up, maybe you should try not to pay attention too closely. I mean, it’s a pretty unpredictable show, but you wouldn’t want to spoil things for yourself, by lucking onto a future plot development. Just… Maybe you’d better go ahead and cancel your internet and cable and get your power shut off too. Don’t take any chances. Seriously. This show is a major event in the cultural history of these United States of America and there’s simply no sense in running the risk of screwing it up for yourself. No matter what you do, ask yourself “Could this action I’m about to take expose me to potential Breaking Bad spoilers?” So don’t read anything. Don’t talk to anybody. Don’t leave your home. Don’t eat. Especially not breakfast. Don’t change your clothes. The color of the characters’ clothes is apparently very important on this show. Definitely don’t go to the bathroom. Just off the top of my head I can think of three major bathroom scenes that might be spoiled if you accidentally recreate them in real life. Just don’t do anything. Just wait it out til you’re caught up. It’ll all be over soon. Okay? Okay. And now I’ve forgotten what I wanted to write about. I’ll probably come back to it later, so stay tuned. Wait. No. Don’t. Don’t stay tuned. To anything. Just… Shhhhh. It’ll all be over soon. I promise.

Published in: on September 23, 2013 at 10:30 am  Leave a Comment  
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I believe I’m becoming increasingly nostalgic for the days when the threat of mutually assured destruction loomed over us like a magnificent, burning giant ready to hold us close, instantly smothering us in his warm embrace. Maybe it’s the simplicity I miss, or the clarity; both probably illusory. Or maybe it’s the potential quick end to everything as opposed to the slow decay that sometimes seems to be creeping up on us all. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why zombies are so popular these days, that fear of everything slowly dying, gradually coming apart. Anyway, they were interesting times, but so are these. Mostly, I hope we manage to keep the bees.

Published in: on September 16, 2013 at 8:22 am  Leave a Comment  
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