2. Lie about celebrities.
3. Lie about celebrities dying. (People won’t even notice that you’ve also “announced” the deaths of Abraham Lincoln and Socrates. They’ll just be so devastated over the loss of Keanu Reeves that they ignore the fact that your blog is full of crap and lame jokes and badly shooped images and start emailing friends the link to your entry.)
4. Keanu, Keanu, Keanu.
5. Use them tags. Especially: Entertainment and Death.
6. Talk shit about Tom Cruise and Scientology. Even if this doesn’t get you any hits, you should be doing it anyway. Remember: Only you can prevent another fucked-up theocracy. Also, you don’t even have to lie about this stuff. It’s so fucking nuts that no embellishment is required to make it entertaining.