How To (Finally) Get (a Few) Hits on a WordPress Blog

1. Lie

2. Lie about celebrities.

3. Lie about celebrities dying. (People won’t even notice that you’ve also “announced” the deaths of Abraham Lincoln and Socrates. They’ll just be so devastated over the loss of Keanu Reeves that they ignore the fact that your blog is full of crap and lame jokes and badly shooped images and start emailing friends the link to your entry.)

4. Keanu, Keanu, Keanu.

5. Use them tags. Especially: Entertainment and Death.

6. Talk shit about Tom Cruise and Scientology. Even if this doesn’t get you any hits, you should be doing it anyway. Remember: Only you can prevent another fucked-up theocracy. Also, you don’t even have to lie about this stuff. It’s so fucking nuts that no embellishment is required to make it entertaining.


The URI to TrackBack this entry is:

RSS feed for comments on this post.

2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. So sad to hear about Keanu. I was a big fan.

    Love your rant! Especially the bit about – Only you can prevent another fucked-up theocracy. And on that, RELIGION is another topic that will assure hits.

  2. Thank you kindly, sir. I’ll keep the religion tag in mind as well.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: