In for a Penny, In for a Pound

Again, the issue of kid gloves for Chelsea:

As distasteful and hypocritical as I found the whole Lewinsky scandal and the ensuing investigation and resulting impeachment of President Clinton to be, Chelsea is a grown woman who has chosen to hit the campaign trail for her mother. Former President Clinton has chosen to do the same. So, yes, the question regarding the Lewinsky scandal’s effect on Senator Clinton’s credibility is relevant and fair; especially seeing as how the Clinton camp has launched repeated negative attacks on Obama.

Even little lambs are fair game, here. That’s kinda how the gloves are made in the first place.

Oh, Hillary

I usually don’t even bother reading opinion pieces, but I really like this one about how the ultimately unelectable Hillary Clinton is just wasting everybody’s time.

Selfish, egotistical bitch.

Just like her husband.

I still kinda wanna do Chelsea, though. I’ll bet she likes it rough. Wonder what her mom would charge me…

If I didn’t dislike guns,

I would get myself one, along with a permit to carry a concealed weapon and I would shoot every loose, aggressive dog that charged me while I was afoot and the streets of this little town would run red with blood. My dog, Mr. Poopus and I had a close call with a pit bull this morning. If I hadn’t remained calm and if I hadn’t developed, over my years of pedestrianhood, a talent for walking backwards, Mr. Poopus would be dead and I’d be good and mangled at the very least.

I called this in to our animal control guy. I believe I woke him up. He sounded drunk, but he was sympathetic and said he’d check it out. We’ll see.

I know pit bulls are supposed to be as nice as any other dog as long as they’re raised correctly, but it seems to me that most of the people hereabouts who are attracted to this breed do not raise them correctly. These animals are bred specifically to fight and to kill and that’s what attracts these neglectful, abusive idiots and that’s what makes these dogs more dangerous than most other animals when they aren’t raised correctly.

If something isn’t done about this problem in my little town soon, I may just manage to get over my dislike of firearms. In the mean time, I’ll be investing in some wholesale quantities of pepper spray.

P.S.

Breaking Bad S01E06: A Review

Hell.

Yes.

Baby.

http://www.amctv.com/originals/breakingbad/

The Wire, Season 5, Episode 8 (Spoilers)

OMAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!

NO!

NOOOO!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(But at least it wasn’t Marlo who got him.)

Mediterranean (Originally posted elsewhere/when.)

Living is a goodfunny way to be and it’s filled with words to play with. I like the wordplay fine and chewy and sometimes sweet and physicians say it’s harmless. I am not the Surgeon General. Generally speaking, I do not speak with surgeons. They tend to burst forth so like flowers drinking blood. Oh to bleed, to blossom, to bloom. These flowers can be pretty, but they need decay to be. Decay is light’s inversion twisted left at times. I like light, but not so much the late-spring sun. Still, I tan well. I do. It is my heritage to darken so. My genes come from the sea that we called ours. It was ours all ours. No middle ground about it. There certainly are islands though. On one such island lies my love. I love you, Bobby Darrin. You didn’t have to go and change your name. I love that Frenchman too who wrote that song for you. Oh Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Come share with me the Rockwellmilkshakelove of innocent days. Oh Bobby. Bobby. Life is sweet and you have gone away from singing of it. Our sea was full of dashing sharks for you to sing of. Why art thou lost upon our goldblue water?

I’ve been waiting Bobby all this time.

Why I’m Voting for Barack Obama Tomorrow

Dear Celebrities,

So, I’m ashamed to say it, but I’ve been wasting time on TMZ and the video of Woody Harrelson reminded me that I’ve always wondered why celebrities don’t start carrying around little cans of spray paint with them and spritzing the camera lenses and lights with it. I know I’d do it. Hell, you can even get spray paint that washes off easily with soap and water so that the paparazzi can’t claim you’ve ruined their equipment. Hunters use it to create camouflage.

Don’t thank me.

Send money.

A Brief Note to All Scientologists

Can’t you see how silly and superficial all of this is?

You’ve given up something beautiful, your mind, in exchange for a collection of half-baked platitudes and absurd, pseudo-scientific babble concocted by a drug-addicted con man.

A Spelling Lesson